Rich In Happiness.

I figured by writing this I could figure out what is it that I wanted, well what I want from life is to just be happy. But isn’t that what everyone wants? Definition of happy : characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: So you think of happiness as just no pain, no tears, any type of negative emotion just being cut out from the point of “just being happy” Your life starts with you, people cant make you happy but they can be a reason why. I don’t want to be “just happy” with life. We live day by day, same routine, we all grow old day by day, the future goes on. Were all given a life long life for a reason? Think about it, and I mean really think about, you know how many things you can accomplish in 80 years, if your lucky to live that long? And by that Im also referring to as God has kept you alive this long for a purpose, when its your time to die do you want to look back and realize you had “just a happy” life or do you want to look back and say I did all things for you God, you did all things through me! Im not saying you have to be albert Einstein and discover electricity all over again, but you can do greater things also within yourself. Knowing you tried your hardest. College for instance, people seem to say College isn’t for me? Why is that? Anyone can do anything they apply there selves to do. Anyone can do anything, and that’s when your faith comes in. maybe God just wants you to be a missionary and doesn’t want you to go to college BUT it he will change your plans when and why he wants/needs to. So you cant just not ever try and just expect good things to happen to you. And for me it seems like I feel like Im living an okay life, but its not easier, I didn’t get any financial aid, here I am trying to join the army. Working two jobs, keeping my faith in God and wondering why in the world some spoiled 18 yr old brat doesn’t work, drives a 2011 camaro and doesn’t have to worry a thing about there college financial issues because of course there parents “have it all”. At first I can say I wasn’t happy about that at all but then as God continues to bless me more and by that its no where near with materialistic things, No I don’t have a car and I don’t have the fanciest stuff but the blesses me within and that’s the greatest thing I could ever ask for and I truly hope that even If was the poorest person living on the streets that God is still growing inside of me, keeping my mind focused on whats important. So No I may not get to go out and party like all the other college kids and get all crazy but I do know its all for a reason, God keeps watch over me, I know this sounds so crazy but I decided to actually go out and drink a few days ago and as I was at that intoxication level the first and only thing my mind was even thinking about was “why did I do this again” It was like a call from God asking me what it is that you want in life, and that’s how Im writing this right now. My actions today can have a great impact on my future tomorrow without me even realizing it. My past is my past and you cant ever change it, or go back and to be quite honest I wouldn’t want to go back. God gave me this peace of mind for a reason and opened my eyes up to this is it. This is your life today. Make a difference, do all you can today. Don’t sit around and wait for good things to just magically happen, It does take time and you will have some hardships but that’s all part of Gods beautiful plan, to be appreciative, to be patient, to learn to be just happy for now but then fully blessed and fruitful in the future because of your actions Now. Let God come inside you now, let him be the reason you want to succeed.

Hopeful thinking.

Lately I've been feeling so distant from God, I guess just the feeling of being an 18 year old is overwhelming, so many opportunites so many things I "want" to do, but I know I dont want to do anything I'll regret or do anything that will disappointment my heavenly father. Im praying for some guidance and direction because everyone I've seemed to ask here doesnt really give me anything I want to hear. Most importantly my boyfriends opinion matters to me but its just so hard to listen to anyone nowdays no matter how much I love them. I pray God will speak to not only my mind but also to my heart so I can feel secure, peaceful, knowing everything is going to fall into place according to his will.

Rambling.

I love to read, Barnes & Nobles is officially my favorite bookstore, Im like a kid in a candy store! I recently picked up a book called "LOVE WINS" by Rob Bell. As I reached deeper into the book I was completely just in shock. This book opened up my eyes to a deeper meaning of life. Heaven, everyone always talks about whats there, what it'll be like, etc..Streets of Gold, Big Mansions, as if the best God can come up with is Beverley Hills in Heaven. Heaven, a place where the "believers" go when you die. Eternal life doesn't start when we die, it starts now. Its about a life that begins at death, (and by death I mean the way I used to live, when I didn't believe) experiencing the kind of life now that can endure and survive even death, How we live today, how we act, our actions towards others, to survive the new life to come we have to be able to act as if it were already there, here, today. Peace, Love, & Joy. If every single person was nice, lovable and peaceful to you, everywhere you went, wouldn't that take some getting used to? For me, it would. As Christians we have to let the world see us as Christians, firm believers in Gods graciousness. The day when God's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. The day when earth and heaven will be the same place. Our Emotions, peace, love, security could be our Heaven now, today. To be prepared and ready for the new life to come. Gods Life,  perfect, peaceful, joyful, Never ending. I know what Im trying to explain but it might not make that much sense to you. Just think about it.

It's just the beginning.

Im starting this blog just because I want to. Rather anyone reads it or not its up to you, if not I will be okay. I've recently become closer to God than I've thought I could ever imagine. This is merely for the purpose of me hoping to reach out to anyone who would like to know more about God or share there stories as well. I know as a child and in my younger years I wasnt exactly the greatest child, as some of you already know. But none of that matters to me anymore, because its not where you start its where you finish. I want to finish my life knowing I tried to the best of my ability to live a righteous life and had my Heavenly Father beside me the whole time. I pray on a daily basis, more than once sometimes and I try to better my life through him as much as possible, everyday. Anywho Im not here to judge anyone or explain how perfect I am, because I'm not, I do, do thing I know I shouldnt but were all human, were created this way for a purpose. As kids, were were taught right from wrong, God teaches us right from wrong, but also gives a chance to ask for forgiveness through his mercy and love that he shows us. None of us will ever be perfect but we can practice living a righteous way knowing he is always there, wiling to forgive.