Hopeful thinking.

Lately I've been feeling so distant from God, I guess just the feeling of being an 18 year old is overwhelming, so many opportunites so many things I "want" to do, but I know I dont want to do anything I'll regret or do anything that will disappointment my heavenly father. Im praying for some guidance and direction because everyone I've seemed to ask here doesnt really give me anything I want to hear. Most importantly my boyfriends opinion matters to me but its just so hard to listen to anyone nowdays no matter how much I love them. I pray God will speak to not only my mind but also to my heart so I can feel secure, peaceful, knowing everything is going to fall into place according to his will.

Rambling.

I love to read, Barnes & Nobles is officially my favorite bookstore, Im like a kid in a candy store! I recently picked up a book called "LOVE WINS" by Rob Bell. As I reached deeper into the book I was completely just in shock. This book opened up my eyes to a deeper meaning of life. Heaven, everyone always talks about whats there, what it'll be like, etc..Streets of Gold, Big Mansions, as if the best God can come up with is Beverley Hills in Heaven. Heaven, a place where the "believers" go when you die. Eternal life doesn't start when we die, it starts now. Its about a life that begins at death, (and by death I mean the way I used to live, when I didn't believe) experiencing the kind of life now that can endure and survive even death, How we live today, how we act, our actions towards others, to survive the new life to come we have to be able to act as if it were already there, here, today. Peace, Love, & Joy. If every single person was nice, lovable and peaceful to you, everywhere you went, wouldn't that take some getting used to? For me, it would. As Christians we have to let the world see us as Christians, firm believers in Gods graciousness. The day when God's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. The day when earth and heaven will be the same place. Our Emotions, peace, love, security could be our Heaven now, today. To be prepared and ready for the new life to come. Gods Life,  perfect, peaceful, joyful, Never ending. I know what Im trying to explain but it might not make that much sense to you. Just think about it.

It's just the beginning.

Im starting this blog just because I want to. Rather anyone reads it or not its up to you, if not I will be okay. I've recently become closer to God than I've thought I could ever imagine. This is merely for the purpose of me hoping to reach out to anyone who would like to know more about God or share there stories as well. I know as a child and in my younger years I wasnt exactly the greatest child, as some of you already know. But none of that matters to me anymore, because its not where you start its where you finish. I want to finish my life knowing I tried to the best of my ability to live a righteous life and had my Heavenly Father beside me the whole time. I pray on a daily basis, more than once sometimes and I try to better my life through him as much as possible, everyday. Anywho Im not here to judge anyone or explain how perfect I am, because I'm not, I do, do thing I know I shouldnt but were all human, were created this way for a purpose. As kids, were were taught right from wrong, God teaches us right from wrong, but also gives a chance to ask for forgiveness through his mercy and love that he shows us. None of us will ever be perfect but we can practice living a righteous way knowing he is always there, wiling to forgive.