Balance

If you ask why you are about to do something before you ask how, you'll suddenly find many things simply aren't worth doing, what is worth doing to you suddenly has more time.

Dreams die in three ways:

1. Drowning- If you cannot plan your day on a simple sheet of paper you are flooded. You can survive months to years of overload but your dreams will not. They will struggle if you don't diligently and consistently seek them before slowly slipping into the water. Tackle today's tasks before you start chasing tomorrows..

2. Starvation- When we feed our fears with negative view points of ourselves and our dreams it drains us of confidence. It is very hard to step out of the box when you spend most of your time trying to find a reason why it just might not work. Dreams not fed will starve!

3. Judgement- If you treat a dream like a criminal then it will hide like one. Worse many seek the jury of their peers as a decision source instead of deciding for themselves. Don't put your dreams on trial and display for all to see --just DO THEM. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS..

Balance is the only path to long term success regardless of how we feel seeking it is the bane of the weak and the tenant of the strong..

so what's your long term strategy and what is it worth to make it work? It is worth it to live for more than just the moment. One motivated moment cannot give you what ten years of intentional action can. The defining moment is temporary but there is a defining life lived intentionally in millions of small steps towards a life well lived. Take captive of your thoughts and you will control what you do..negative emotions, habits and thoughts will only lead to a waste of negative energy that will soon go away..because feelings really are only temporary. Why waste time as if you actually think you know how much time you really have....find that balance..rather it be emotionally, spiritually, whatever it is!

You catch what you chase.

Thoughts on thoughts!

I wrote this December 15, 2011. I read it for the first time again today when I reactivated my old Facebook, anyways I'm so proud of myself and how much I've grown spiritually! Enjoy.

I seem to always be reading, any time I have free time I just pick up a book and read and it got me thinking why was it that when I was still in High School I didn’t find much interest in it? I graduated almost 7 months ago and it wasn’t until I lived by myself that I found out who I really was, my actions and what it felt like to really be alone. I hated it for awhile I mean yeah you meet new friends, discover new things and leave the old things behind. It was all fun at first getting to do whatever you wanted and learning things on your own. I got to a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore, here I am 19 years old barely starting life & I couldn’t even remember to put my clothes in the dryer after I washed them. Something really hit me & I knew if I ever wanted to have a happy, prospering life I had to change the way I thought, the way I talked, my actions just everything about me. No it wasn’t just because I left my clothes in the washing machine for 2 days but it was more than that, it seemed like everything else around me was slowly falling apart, one of those if it’s not one thing it’s another kind of deals. I did some pretty dumb things before and I know I hurt a lot of people which didn’t make it easier for me. I always thought why would they still talk to me, even though there was nothing I knew I could do to have them forgive me. I seriously just remember crying, wondering what it was that made me do the half the things I did and by this time I was already trying to establish a deeper relationship with Christ a deeper meaning then just “I believe in him” I needed a reason to find why he still believed in me why I was still being given second chances. I used to be one of those people who would go out all the time because I thought partying was just absolutely the coolest thing to do, act stupid because you only live once, right? No, none of that made me happy anymore, it wasn’t enough because I knew one of these days it might just be too late while I was out there acting like a fool I could have been doing something much more worth remembering. Now I know everyone thinks different but I’m not everyone else therefore it doesn’t matter what I think, but it should matter to you what he thinks. After a great deal of prayer, reading, music therapy, writing and everything else that fell into play I finally felt and realized how it was to be one of those “Jesus Freaks” to feel absolutely overpowered by the King. Spiritual maturity is never an end in itself, we grow up in order to give out! I’m not saying with Jesus my life is perfect because I go through some things I just break down and still ask why are you doing this to me, but now I just simply pray and know that everything he does is because it’s supposed to happen, my weakness becomes perfect in him & I know he’s shaping my heart in the likeness of his way. My good days, my rainy days, even when I still get angry all of my emotions still lead to him. Sometimes people get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again, but with him I feel brand new everyday as if I’m a little seed that’s just growing, my faith a year ago is no where compared to how it is today, but Jesus was still the same. Which is such a powerful statement. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by I don’t break down and just thank him for yesterday, for today, for my precious family, for allowing me to be the person I am today. A Relationship with Jesus is the most intimate one anyone can ever have and I know when the day comes he will provide me with someone he wants me to be with, have a family that will have families that prosper beyond imaginable. I refuse to be that family worrying about stuff that could have been prevented, when all it would have took was a simply submission to the greatest love you could ever experience, I do believe the younger you start his journey the easier life will be for you, mentally. If I died today I feel like I wouldn’t leave on a bad term & that’s all that matters to me, He is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me, emotionally, physically, mentally, everything I am is he everything he designed. The way I think determines the way I feel, and the way I feel always influences the way I act. I can’t wait to see what he has for me in the future!

A Humbling Experience.

You know what's awesome? Knowing you're loved! Regardless if you want to believe it or not! I don't mean to be Cliché but it's why you're here..to be loved because death was already made for you so that you may live..just don't ever feel like your the only one going through things because everyone has trials and tribulations, Christians, celebrity's, the rich the poor..everyone..it's just that everyone has a purpose and there own destiny to fulfill..I encourage you to really find yourself and find your passion, there's more to life than being in the same mindset you are year after year..thinking nothing will ever change. It does change, it CAN change, but only if you are willing. I say this because I'm only 20...and honestly I feel like I've done a lot more than most 50 yr olds have done! And I'm not just saying that, I know this! I never found who I was in Christ until I realized how I used to be without him. I went to a life group last Friday and the youngest one there besides me was 50 years old! And it was such a humbling experience just because they knew the word from the back of their hand! But you know what? I didn't agree with a few of them, (not that their beliefs are any more right then mine) but I felt like they were asking the same questions I've asked a year ago! That I've already received the answer and I just had to share it with them, It's like we were learning from each other. I just prayed and thanked God I learned at such an early age, and it's humbling because some people go all there whole life not feeling how awesome the gift of the Holy Spirit really is until its their time or until they feel like they're ready to give their lives to Christ. God is SO good and I believe in the power of prayer, honestly though my belief when it comes to the power of prayer on what really pleases our God is faith, diligence, consistency and not just when times are bad but constantly; which leads to righteousness as said in scripture (James 5:16) "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" How can you expect God to answer your prayers if you're not doing your part? He loves it when we talk to him and not just when we feel like it's necessary. It's amazing because at the life group even though I didn't agree with some of the teaching I just kept praying to God because I was confused I mean these people were 30-40 yrs older than me! And my aunt yet said let so and so pray for you because she has healing hands..(let me remind she was that one who just kept talking and interrupting, we all have that one Friend haha) She was lovely though, she asked me what was my prayer request and I told her something completely different just because I didn't want to say it, AND out of her mouth spoke everything I really needed, talk about tears down my face! Because with age and understanding comes wisdom and obedience which starts to produce righteousness...just read Romans 5!  I can't even explain how thankful I felt at that moment because I just knew she just knew! I knew this is where God wanted me to be at that moment. It taught me to humble myself, I want to be righteous, and holy because my father is holy! It doesn't matter old you are but it does matter if you have all this time now and you're not developing spiritually as needed. I can't imagine waiting until I'm 30 to finally really understand what some of the scriptures are really telling me...or maybe I will have to wait. who knows. I just know God knows and I don't think I'll ever forget the many lessons I learned from just that one night. Blessings. 

It's a new year.

I haven't been writing in awhile, & it's such a sad deal because writing is my passion. I came across a young ladies twitter today and saw she had posted a blog on here, I read it & it brought me inspiration to get back on here & continue doing what I know I am meant to do.

Lately I have been feeling so alone, & not a depressing feeling but I miss my family & friends so much. Ever since I've dedicated my life to Christ and have these adrenaline thoughts it seems they just think I'm nutty, as if they really have nothing to say to me anymore. I know I was on a wrong path before but I'm so glad I had the opportunity to change and I've now realized I think the way I do for a reason. I just know God has a plan for me. Even if I'm alone in this I will forever maintain my faith, he's showed me so much and I couldn't be more happier. I ship out in 2 weeks to South Carolina for BCT. Yes, I joined the army about 6 months ago thinking it was going to be something fun to do. I'm kind of scared but more excited at the same time. I always seem to get off topic of what I'm trying to say and just start rambling on about thirty things at once, I guess I just needed to talk to someone tonight. I just hope when I get back that I can somehow surround myself with Christ-Like people who will encourage me & just have things to talk about. It's hard being the only one and feeling like no one else relates to you. I guess that's all for now until I can find something else to ramble on about.

Rich In Happiness.

I figured by writing this I could figure out what is it that I wanted, well what I want from life is to just be happy. But isn’t that what everyone wants? Definition of happy : characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: So you think of happiness as just no pain, no tears, any type of negative emotion just being cut out from the point of “just being happy” Your life starts with you, people cant make you happy but they can be a reason why. I don’t want to be “just happy” with life. We live day by day, same routine, we all grow old day by day, the future goes on. Were all given a life long life for a reason? Think about it, and I mean really think about, you know how many things you can accomplish in 80 years, if your lucky to live that long? And by that Im also referring to as God has kept you alive this long for a purpose, when its your time to die do you want to look back and realize you had “just a happy” life or do you want to look back and say I did all things for you God, you did all things through me! Im not saying you have to be albert Einstein and discover electricity all over again, but you can do greater things also within yourself. Knowing you tried your hardest. College for instance, people seem to say College isn’t for me? Why is that? Anyone can do anything they apply there selves to do. Anyone can do anything, and that’s when your faith comes in. maybe God just wants you to be a missionary and doesn’t want you to go to college BUT it he will change your plans when and why he wants/needs to. So you cant just not ever try and just expect good things to happen to you. And for me it seems like I feel like Im living an okay life, but its not easier, I didn’t get any financial aid, here I am trying to join the army. Working two jobs, keeping my faith in God and wondering why in the world some spoiled 18 yr old brat doesn’t work, drives a 2011 camaro and doesn’t have to worry a thing about there college financial issues because of course there parents “have it all”. At first I can say I wasn’t happy about that at all but then as God continues to bless me more and by that its no where near with materialistic things, No I don’t have a car and I don’t have the fanciest stuff but the blesses me within and that’s the greatest thing I could ever ask for and I truly hope that even If was the poorest person living on the streets that God is still growing inside of me, keeping my mind focused on whats important. So No I may not get to go out and party like all the other college kids and get all crazy but I do know its all for a reason, God keeps watch over me, I know this sounds so crazy but I decided to actually go out and drink a few days ago and as I was at that intoxication level the first and only thing my mind was even thinking about was “why did I do this again” It was like a call from God asking me what it is that you want in life, and that’s how Im writing this right now. My actions today can have a great impact on my future tomorrow without me even realizing it. My past is my past and you cant ever change it, or go back and to be quite honest I wouldn’t want to go back. God gave me this peace of mind for a reason and opened my eyes up to this is it. This is your life today. Make a difference, do all you can today. Don’t sit around and wait for good things to just magically happen, It does take time and you will have some hardships but that’s all part of Gods beautiful plan, to be appreciative, to be patient, to learn to be just happy for now but then fully blessed and fruitful in the future because of your actions Now. Let God come inside you now, let him be the reason you want to succeed.

Hopeful thinking.

Lately I've been feeling so distant from God, I guess just the feeling of being an 18 year old is overwhelming, so many opportunites so many things I "want" to do, but I know I dont want to do anything I'll regret or do anything that will disappointment my heavenly father. Im praying for some guidance and direction because everyone I've seemed to ask here doesnt really give me anything I want to hear. Most importantly my boyfriends opinion matters to me but its just so hard to listen to anyone nowdays no matter how much I love them. I pray God will speak to not only my mind but also to my heart so I can feel secure, peaceful, knowing everything is going to fall into place according to his will.

Rambling.

I love to read, Barnes & Nobles is officially my favorite bookstore, Im like a kid in a candy store! I recently picked up a book called "LOVE WINS" by Rob Bell. As I reached deeper into the book I was completely just in shock. This book opened up my eyes to a deeper meaning of life. Heaven, everyone always talks about whats there, what it'll be like, etc..Streets of Gold, Big Mansions, as if the best God can come up with is Beverley Hills in Heaven. Heaven, a place where the "believers" go when you die. Eternal life doesn't start when we die, it starts now. Its about a life that begins at death, (and by death I mean the way I used to live, when I didn't believe) experiencing the kind of life now that can endure and survive even death, How we live today, how we act, our actions towards others, to survive the new life to come we have to be able to act as if it were already there, here, today. Peace, Love, & Joy. If every single person was nice, lovable and peaceful to you, everywhere you went, wouldn't that take some getting used to? For me, it would. As Christians we have to let the world see us as Christians, firm believers in Gods graciousness. The day when God's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. The day when earth and heaven will be the same place. Our Emotions, peace, love, security could be our Heaven now, today. To be prepared and ready for the new life to come. Gods Life,  perfect, peaceful, joyful, Never ending. I know what Im trying to explain but it might not make that much sense to you. Just think about it.